750 Topic: Create a Level of Hell Appropriate for Those Guilty of Being Inconsiderate Neighbors.

26 08 2010

I may or may not have inconsiderate neighbors.

I may or may not vent about them regularly.

I may or may not wish them a special kind of hell.

I will neither confirm nor deny any of the above, BUT…

…If I did have neighbors like that…

and I did wish a special kind of hell for them…

then this is the type of hell worthy of them…

[For the sake of this ‘hypothetical’ supposition, I’ve included some examples of ‘fictitious’ events (sadly more factual than satirical). Should any of the following happen to reflect events that you may be guilty of committing then grow the hell up or do me a favor and MOVE away from me!]

For rude, selfish, inconsiderate neighbors who park all over the place, block other neighbor’s yards and driveways with their cars, leave their trash can out every day of the week and all over the place, move other neighbors’ trash cans all over the place, play music too loud, storm up and down the stairs, thump the bass on the movies they watch, pound on walls, bang on pipes, ignore attempts by others to be courteous, look at you blankly when you attempt to greet them, rev their engine…well, there just has to be a special ring of hell for people like them. [Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes…]

I like to think that it is because they are young and don’t understand what it is like to have to share walls with others that neighbors are inconsiderate and rude.  However, after seeing how the mother of one particular neighbor [that I may or may not have] behaved when asked to turn the stereo down, I realize that, in some cases at least,  it is more likely the result of how they were reared.

Neighbors like that seem convinced they are somehow more entitled than the others.  That they are somehow above following the guidelines for common courtesy that the rest of the neighborhood follows to assure that EVERYONE is happy in their home.

Therefore, I think their special ring of hell would have to include the following:

A single wide trailer in a cramped and dirty trailer park that has poor plumbing, window unit air-conditioners, and a trailer park full of toothless rednecks with poor personal hygiene.  Hygiene so poor that the reek permeates every inch of every surface everywhere in the trailer park.

Packs of rabid dogs roaming aimlessly over every inch of the property leaving big stinking piles of shit all over that no one picks up, only adding to the disgusting odor of the place.

The neighbors should be the sort who scream incessantly at each other at all hours of the day and night, play their music too loud, and who basically just dump their trash out the side door of their trailer allowing it to pile up for weeks on end before (if ever) carting it off to the dump.

Most of all, however, his [I mean, NAMELESS Inconsiderate Neighbor] car would need to suffer.  So no garage, no protective structure of any sort, not even a car port leaving the car exposed constantly to the elements.

I envision the neighbor kids would occasionally pelt it with balls, frisbees, trash and run into it while on their skateboards and bikes so that it was covered with dents.  Rust would be a nice touch.  Perhaps every now and then a drunk neighbor would puke on it, dogs would pee on it, and vengeful neighbors would key the cars in retribution for the way that they are treating their neighbors around them.

Obviously there would have to be absolutely no recourse for responding to the inconsiderate actions of their neighbors. They would need to suffer wondering how to survive living next to people so clueless and inconsiderate with the knowledge that nothing they could do or say would make a difference.

They should be sick and tired one evening, looking for nothing more than their bed and some peaceful sleep only to find that all of the neighbors around them were throwing a loud, obnoxious party. Not only would they be kept awake and uncomfortable, but there would be nothing they could do and not way for them to escape the noise.

Cops would visit regularly to remind them that they chose to move there, that their neighbors had every right to behave the way they did, and that they knew when they moved in that they would be sharing space with others.  If they wanted to live in peace, then they should have bought a single family home on a decent sized lot.

The alternative would include neighbors, a builder, and an HOA (or two) who did nothing but ride them incessantly whenever they were inconsiderate and disrespectful teaching them that such behavior as theirs was not to be tolerated and that their only alternative would be to move to a galaxy far, far away.

[end scene]

…what a stretch that was for me to come up with so many examples of such a horrible knob of a neighbor-that, kids, is what you call CREATIVE writing…


750: Write a Backstory for My Tweet on Tub Contents.

25 08 2010

The quandary: Rick noticed that the rarely used tub in the master bathroom currently contained: a swimsuit, an umbrella, a plunger, a water pitcher, and a towel. He had no explanation.

The solution: As the father of two young girls, you would have thought that by now he would have figured what had obviously taken place in that indoor water playground he considered a master bathroom.  Surely as a little boy, he too had participated in water play, no?

Obviously one of the younger members of the household had wanted to play outside during one of our recent rain storms and was denied.  Instructed instead to find something indoors with which to occupy her time and energy.  I’m sure the older, less inventive or creative members of her family thought that she would settle somewhere in a comfortable corner chair and curl up with a good book, maybe watch a movie, play a video game, or work on a puzzle.  All things grown ups dream of doing if provided a rainy afternoon where they have nowhere to be and nothing to do.  M, however, was not going to be deterred from her desire to do a little singing in the rain.

Since her raincoat was still in her locker back at school where she had forgotten it at the end of last week in her rush to head home for the holiday weekend, M donned her swimsuit, grabbed an umbrella from the stand by the front door, snatched a pitcher from the kitchen where her parents were preoccupied discussing the plans for that evenings dinner, and headed for the ‘water park’.  M had thought for some time that the little used bathtub in the water park more often referred to as her parents’ master bathroom would be a wonderful way to spend the day splashing about.  Today was the day that she was going to put that theory to the test.

In addition to the umbrella and pitcher she had brought along a couple of her favorite little animal friends.  They were colorful little plastic critters that looked just like a little terrier dog, a larger than average black cat, and two horses.  She had named the little Terrier, Fergus, after a dog in a book  she loved when she was smaller.  The cat she named Ivan the Great and Terrible.  Great because of his size and terrible because she thought he was terribly cute. She liked to picture him smacking the little terrier in the face with his paw whenever the devil took the terrier and he would get to bouncy.  The horses, Bonnie and April, were mother and daughter.  She liked the word Bonnie because of the song ‘My Bonnie lies over the Ocean’ and April was a cinch because it was her favorite month and this horse was her favorite.  April was a beautiful chestnut color and had a nearly perfect white star in the middle of her forehead.

With all of her toys assembled, she turned the water on in the tub and hopped inside.  She left the drain open so that the tub would not fill since it was her desire to mimic the rain outside, not a pool.  She lined Fergus, Ivan, Bonnie, and April on the side of the tub so they could participate in the festivities.  M opened the umbrella, filled the pitcher with water, and began to pour water over the top of her umbrella while she sang.  She loved to sing, it never really mattered what, she just loved to sing and singing in the rain was THE BEST.  Apparently singing in the tub while pretending it was raining was almost as fun, but not quite.  She thought it was because the water came down more in a stream than in the droplets that a real rain shower would produce.  She decided that if she tossed the water in the pitcher into the air, then as it fell back down it would feel more like rain.

With the first toss of the water she knew she had made a mistake in judgment.  Rather than going straight up and coming straight back down, the water bounced off the side of the tub wall and sluiced along the edge of the tub.  Fergus was caught in a tidal wave of water, was swept off the side of the tub, and headed toward the drain in a torrent of water. M squealed, turned off the water, hopped from the tub, grabbed the plunger from under the sink, and rushed to rescue her beloved friend from drowning.  She made it just in time to keep him from circling into the drain.  As she breathed a heavy sigh of relief after saving her friend, her father called from downstairs to let her know that it was almost dinner time.  She hurriedly dried off, changed, grabbed her little friends, and headed for the door.  Leaving behind a…

wet bathing suit…

an umbrella…

a water pitcher…

a plunger, and…

a towel.

Spread too thin…

12 04 2010

“The acquisition of one sort of ability often makes that of another unlikely, if not impossible…To take the gifts one does have to concentrate on one’s strength upon their development, to disallow distractions–none of these is an easy task.” ~ Joseph Epstein

At the moment, I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

One work project is wrapping up and another officially got underway today.

I’ve been enjoying helping friends with their social media sites for their stores.

My attempt to get our HOA to represent the Homeowners has exploded into THREE projects rather than the one since it has been determined that I’m dealing with a hydra.  Add to that one crazy as hell neighbor and I could make a full time job of tackling this beast.

I *so* need to complete my taxes.

I need to find a charity willing to take the Jeep AFTER I get the back window repaired (and after I figure out how to get THAT done if the darn thing won’t move!) thanks to the vandals over the weekend.

I want to see my commitment to the April Challenge at 750words.com all the way through to the end.

I’m working on a perpetual calendar idea with mighty magnets which has led to an idea involving jewelry.

And more than anything I want to write about 7 – 10 blog posts I have running around my head.  If only I could clone myself or find more time in the day, but that in itself is a whole other blog post.

Bit by bit, step by step, day by day I will get to them all.  I need the balance they all bring.  I am working through many things in my life at this point and each of these is also helping with that processing through the grief.

If I can write as much and as fast as I talk this should be a piece of cake!

9 03 2010

Tomorrow will mark 7 days that I’ve been participating in journaling on 750words.com and I’ve gotten a great deal out of the experience so far.  I’ve been on and off the journaling wagon for years, nearly all by hand and mostly in Moleskine notebooks. Part of the problem with that was that my notebook usually stayed at home next to bed so that I could write something in morning and then document my gratitude that night.  Unfortunately some nights I’d be too tired to write.  I also felt like I was writing into a void, your basic brain dump, a venting of the spleen, with no real commitment to writing anything if I didn’t feel up for it or didn’t have anything particulary interesting to report that day.

That is why I’ve really been enjoying 750words.  I get feedback. I get a read on my frame of mind, my attitude, areas where I can develop myself.  Fun stats that make it a challenge to myself, a competition against other cyber writers.  I’m currently ranked 275th…after 6 days…this WILL NOT do! As thrilled as I am with my penguin badge, my 42 points, and the opportunity to see my improvement and how I compare to others, I need MORE.  As someone with ADHD who has a tendency to take on projects, but then doesn’t see them through to completion I need more than a challenge, I need accountability, I need consequences for my actions…something akin to, oh I don’t know, maybe a ‘Wall of Shame’ if I should fail to follow through. SO, without further ado:

One Month Challenge Contract

I, Loud Mouth Redhead, accept this challenge to write 750 words every day during the month of April, 2010. If I succeed, I accept that my name will be added to the Wall of Amazingness. But if I miss a day or more, I also accept that my name will be added to the Wall of Shame.

In addition, I pledge to the following self-created rewards and punishments…

If I succeed, I will be grateful I was able to successfully see a project to completion.

If I miss a day or more, I will own my failure and try even harder the next month to continue to develop this habit.

One Loud Mouthed Redhead

And there you have it, check back to find out if I’m full of amazingness or shame…I’m sure hoping for amazingness otherwise the business cards I had printed up are going to be USELESS!

A Challenge to Myself (A Suggestion to You)

6 03 2010

Recently I ran across an article on Lifehacker about online journaling (http://lifehacker.com/5482921/750-words-clears-your-mind-gets-ideas-flowing) about a webapp at http://750words.com that challenges you to write 750 words a day created by http://busterbenson.com.  You get a point for writing SOMETHING, ANYTHING and you get additional points if you meet the 750 word goal for the day.  What I find the most intriguing are the statistics once you have completed writing.  It feels more like interactive journaling than just a brain dump or a venting of your spleen.  You get feedback about how long you typed, how fast you typed, which words you used most frequently, analysis on your frame of mine, and more. I think it is this kind of feedback that would keep me engaged enough to keep at it and I’m a saner, happier person if I can unload the thoughts that fill my head.

So far I have spent two days and have met the challenge both days.  I still have a lot to unload before I think I’d have to struggle to come up with something to write, but from what I understand once you reach that point it is even more revealing about the thoughts that rattle around in your head trying to make it onto the page.

If you are looking for motivation to write more or are on a journey of self discovery, I suggest you check it out for yourself.  I arrived a couple days too late to participate in March’s challenge, but think that I will make it an unofficial challenge to myself to continue to complete a 750 word entry every day in March and then take on the official challenge in April.

I also suggest checking out Buster’s website as there are more great stats, some wonderful inspiration, and some excellent life rules.  He’s also on Twitter and Facebook and seems to have an endless supply of ideas.  I’m looking forward to where this takes me as I work through the hardest year of my life and continue to move forward.

For now though, my 750 words have been entered there, I’ve posted yet another blog here, and now I’m going to hit the hay so that I will be best prepared to face whatever challenges tomorrow brings as I face the first anniversary of two life changing events: the birth of a dear friend’s much beloved son and the death of my much beloved Grandfather.